School's out!

They say that when one door closes another opens. These past few years have been exactly that. I went to India, came back, got a job in Rantoul, left that, went to King and now am leaving yet again. Next stop? Finland! A fellow teacher at King asked me if I would keep a blog while I was in Finland, which was a brilliant suggestion. I figured that today, the day after the last day of school, would be the perfect day to start writing again.

This school year has been rough, to say the least. I've had to balance personal, emotional and professional struggles all rolled up into one year. But the end always brings with it a different, softer perspective when you aren't stuck in the middle of it all.

I decided this year to focus on more than just teaching so that I could take care of myself. The result was that I didn't feel that I did enough for my kids but I leave this year feeling proud of what I did while training for a half marathon, volunteering for a non profit and working to earn a scholarship and admission into Finland.

Professionally I have learned that fifth grade is one difficult grade to teach. There are so many insecurities the kids have and they usually don't manifest themselves in very pretty ways. Half the time it felt like my class was a giant wave that I was trying to manage with my bare hands. Try as I might, the water just kept going right through my fingers. This year I had 7 acts of physical aggression (I would have previously called them fights but I learned this year that a fight is only when there are punches being thrown).

There were, however, successes. One boy who made me cry out of frustration when, in the middle of class, he started kicking and throwing things, cursing and walking around the room while talking incessantly. The other kids would no longer focus once he had left and all I could do was sit there with tears streaming down my face. But today he got up in the middle of a movie we were watching, asked for a piece of paper and wrote me the sweetest note I've ever read apologizing for his behavior and telling me I was a great teacher. Another girl asked if I could make sure her brother was put in my class so she wouldn't have to worry about him.

I also learned how to plan a unit, the importance of practicing how to get in and stay in a line, the need for community building throughout the year, how to be consistent, and that I am the queen and the classroom is my kingdom.

So, even though I have a very long way to go to become my idea of an ideal teacher, I think this year taught me enough valuable lessons that will help me next time I am in the classroom. For now, I hope that Finland will open new avenues that extend beyond the classroom. Only 3 months to go!

P.S. I will continue to post during the summer, though these will likely be unrelated to Finland or teaching. Random musings will have to do.